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• Try to stay calm.
• Tell them you are there for them and that you are not upset or angry.
• Tell them you are pleased they have told you they are having thoughts of harming themselves and that you are able to help them through this time.
• Listen to what they are saying even if they are venting anger or other negative emotions at you.
• Listen without interrupting.
• Validate their thoughts and feelings – they are real and important.
• Try to be emotionally available and present for your child.
• Once things appear to be settling please encourage your child to relax as the day/ evening progresses and make some suggestions for things you can do together to distract them from their thoughts (see below for some ideas).
• Try to proactively manage any potential conflicts or arguments within your immediate environment.
• Be mindful of excessive use of mobile devices but that young people really need to feel connected to others at times of distress.

If you are concerned that your child/ young person is at risk of harming themselves, please ensure the following:

• All medications (prescribed/ over the counter/ vitamins) are removed and/ or locked in a strong lockable medical box or locked cupboard.  Medication needs to be stored in this way in all houses where the young person stays, including grandparents, foster carers, step parents and residential homes.
• All sharp objects, such as knives and razor blades, to be removed and/ or stored securely.
• Ensure the young person has not got a stock of medication or sharp objects in their room or amongst their property.
• Other environmental risks in your home should be considered, e.g. removing ropes, ties, dressing gown ties.
• Do not allow your child/ young person to go out alone or with friends during times of distress and when they are voicing thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
• Monitor your child/ young person’s mood and behaviour closely.
• Increase your presence and supervision of your child at home, if needed remaining awake or checking on them during the night.
• Ask them about thoughts of self-harm and suicide.
• ​​​​Look out for any warning signs in your child/ young person that they might be struggling.

• Distract yourself - watch a film or TV programme, play a computer game that absorbs your mind, or read a book you’re really interested in
• Get creative – drawing, mindful colouring, taking photos, listening to music, singing
• Get moving – walk, run, dance, do an exercise or yoga video
• Comfort yourself – have bubble bath or shower, eat something you like, stroke a pet, cuddle up tightly in a blanket, rock/ hug yourself, spray a favourite perfume

Alternatives to self-harm when the urge to harm is very strong:

• Hold ice in your hand for as long as you can
• Step under a cold shower briefly
• Run your hands under cold water
• Snap an elastic band against your wrist
• Hit a cushion against the wall or bed
• Punch a punch bag or pillow
• Go for a fast paced walk or run up and down the stairs several times
• Tear or scrunch up paper