Crying
All babies cry. It’s their way of letting you know that they are not comfortable or need something. Usually it’s obvious what your baby needs and you can work out that she is hungry, needs a nappy change, or just wants some company.
Some parents worry that responding to their baby every time she cries might not be the right thing to do, but you won’t ‘spoil’ your baby by giving her too much attention. Responding to her needs and listening to her is very important and will help her to feel secure.
When your baby cries a lot
Some babies cry a lot more than others, and it’s not really clear why. Some babies can be difficult to soothe and seem unhappy a lot of the time, even if they are healthy and developing normally. Remember you can always get help if you are worried.
How to cope with a crying baby
Pick your baby up, talk to her and cuddle her, offer her another breastfeed. Breastfeeding is sometimes just for comfort and that’s okay. You can’t over feed a breastfed baby
Coping with a baby who always seems unhappy is extremely stressful, so try to make sure there’s plenty of support around. Ask an understanding friend to hold her for a while, or ask your health visitor about local sources of support. As you and your partner get to know your baby, you’ll begin to learn what different cries mean. If your baby cries, you could try:
- Rocking, patting or gently rubbing her back, tummy or feet
- Giving her more frequent feeds
- Carrying her in a sling. A sling that keeps your baby solidly against your body in an upright position is the safest. Make sure that you check that she has her chin off her chest so she can breathe easily
- Giving her a warm bath
- Having a change of scenery by going for a walk or a drive.
Please see video for advice on coping with a crying baby
How to cope with a crying baby
Pick your baby up, talk to her and cuddle her, offer her another breastfeed. Breastfeeding is sometimes just for comfort and that’s okay. You can’t over feed a breastfed baby
Coping with a baby who always seems unhappy is extremely stressful, so try to make sure there’s plenty of support around. Ask an understanding friend to hold her for a while, or ask your health visitor about local sources of support. As you and your partner get to know your baby, you’ll begin to learn what different cries mean. If your baby cries, you could try:
- Rocking, patting or gently rubbing her back, tummy or feet
- Giving her more frequent feeds
- Carrying her in a sling. A sling that keeps your baby solidly against your body in an upright position is the safest. Make sure that you check that she has her chin off her chest so she can breathe easily
- Giving her a warm bath
- Having a change of scenery by going for a walk or a drive.
Parents can get exhausted and upset by a baby who never seems to stop crying. If you’re getting very upset, try putting her down somewhere safe or ask someone else to hold her and leave the room. Never, ever shake your baby, no matter how frustrated you feel. Shaking is very dangerous for your baby, because her head is big and heavy compared to the rest of her body. If her head isn’t supported it flops around because her neck muscles aren’t strong enough. When a baby is shaken her head can be thrown back and forth very quickly with great force. This force can cause tiny blood vessels around your baby’s brain to tear and bleed and the brain to swell, resulting in bruising and damage to your baby’s brain. This can be fatal. If you are getting frustrated by your baby’s crying, remember to ‘Step back, Stop and Think’ as suggested in the short video ‘Shaking your baby is just not the deal’ which contains some helpful ideas about how to cope in this situation.
Remember: If you are getting frustrated by a crying baby, remember to ‘Step back, Stop and Think.’
Follow your instincts
It’s important to trust your instincts. If you are worried about your baby’s crying, ask your health visitor to check that she is okay. If there’s nothing wrong, you may just have to accept that this is the way your baby is. You’re not doing anything wrong, it’s not your fault and it happens to lots of people. Over time, she’ll become more settled.
Please click here for further advice if you are concerned about your baby's crying
For further advice on crying and colic click here
Baby massage
Baby massage is becoming popular and most areas now offer classes. You will learn how to use gentle soothing touch and stroking to calm your baby. It has benefits for you both. You can start when your baby is about six weeks old. Don’t do anything your baby doesn’t like and use natural oils like grapeseed or almond oil. ‘Essential oils’ can cause severe irritations or allergic reactions or burns and should always be avoided for a baby under three months and after that only used with professional advice.
Our Responsive feeding team have developed to videos on baby massage and with techniques to help to settle your baby
Please click below to access videos
Skin contact
Skin–to–skin contact with your baby is good at any age, it’s not just for the first hours after birth. It will help her do well physically and emotionally and it can also help you become more confident as a parent.
A mum’s view: “It took me a while to work out what was wrong when Tom would cry. Usually he was hungry or just needing to have his nappy changed. However, sometimes he just needed a cuddle.” Katrina from Cardiff (Bump, Baby and Beyond Public Health Wales)
Please click here to access the Bump, Baby and Beyond book published by Public Health Wales
Please click here for further advice from the NHS